Hate, it has caused a lot of problems in the world, but has not solved one yet. ― Maya Angelou
Often times when an innocent infant who battled CDH (congenital
diaphragmatic hernia) dies or a CDH survivor undergoes more surgery or becomes
ill and is hospitalized we see comments from others:
"I HATE
CDH". Or
"CDH SUCKS." Very true, the complexities of
diaphragmatic hernia do cause death and far too often other struggles for the
survivors who continue battling. It is the birth defect that "keeps
on giving" in other ways. There are so many issues that can develop
over a hole in the diaphragm. Digestive issues, due to organs not
developing properly, eating issues due to the early treatments these children
endure or the simple fact their feeding or attempt to start later. (There
are many other “side-effects” to CDH too.)
Often times the drugs prescribed to them to prevent reflux or manage
their Pulmonary Hypertension cause weight loss or pneumonia. The parents
struggle with maintaining weight on these children so if they do have the next
illness or surgery, they have reserves.
I get why parents and family members "hate CDH", our own
daughter's death certificate states under "cause of death":
"
complications of congenital diaphragmatic hernia".
I also
hated it for a long time. It is a birth defect that sounds so very
simple, yet is so complicated. Five infants can come into a NICU
presenting similarly with diaphragmatic hernias, they will treat them all the
same way, same protocols, drugs, techniques and one will die, and the medical
staff has no real clue to why. Other than, "
complications of
diaphragmatic hernia". Overall the survival rates are rising,
slowly. They do know more today than fifteen years ago, ten years ago or
even a year ago.
When I think of CDH, I think of all these children, infants and their
families. I think of the
triumphs and
tragedies. I think of how
astounding these children are in life and how amazing their families are to
motivate, advocate and love them immeasurably. I think of my own daughter
and how courageous her fight was as I sat there and watched, only able to hold
her little hand. I can't hate CDH. It was part of my daughter and
part of these other children. I dislike what it does to these children
and families. How can I hate something that brought me the most amazing
friends who share their deepest tragedies and feelings? Oh, sure, I am
frustrated by CDH. Hate is a very strong emotion. It is an emotion
that required a whole lot of energy, to which; I refuse to divert my own.
So, I dislike.
There is also a beauty in the CDH Community. When a family is going
through hell and their child is fighting or has lost the battle or is
struggling - all other families (some silently) send a positive thought,
prayer, a comment, email, text or phone call. Unlike on the news media
story feeds where you see less than stellar comments, the comments other
parents leave for those in a time of need, will make you smile, tear up or
both. The encouragement and hope radiates through these families and
that, my friends, is the beauty of CDH (congenital diaphragmatic hernia).
Note: This is just an opinion piece and those who are very early in their own CDH journeys are allowed to wrestle with emotions. I've done that. ~Elizabeth